Friday, September 17, 2004

Go ask Alice what the doorman said...

Aaaand, down the rabbit hole we go. Let's play dueling headlines, shall we (all apologies to an outstanding if somewhat irrascible website, Bartcop).

Headline from USA Today: Bush clear leader in poll (boy they want him elected so bad their woodies are showing...)
Headline from...well sheeeite, who'da thunk it? 5 minutes ago when I read the first of the two bizarro headlines that started this post, a headline directly under the one written above said "Kerry and Bush tied in poll." Hmmm...magically that headline is now gone, replaced by this one, touting how our Great Leader is tied with Kerry in one poll, and SLIGHTLY AHEAD IN ANOTHER!!!!! Yippeee!!! Maybe he'll give ME a nickname this time!!!! Oh he's so resolute I can hardly breath!

Well, headlines, which is it? Is Siezer Disgustus "clearly" ahead, or is he not? Better yet, any guesses which poll our lil' buddy Matty D chose to run as the big-ass font headline? Two guesses and the first one doesn't count.

More Wonderlandian stuff in the articles themselves:
USA Today:
The boost Bush received from the Republican convention has increased rather than dissipated, reshaping a race that for months has been nearly tied. Kerry is facing warnings from Democrats that his campaign is seriously off-track.

The first of two national polls by Pew, done Sept. 8-10, reflected the president's post-convention bounce. Bush was ahead of Kerry 52-40 among registered voters and by an even wider margin, 54-39, among likely voters, a narrower group. By the second poll, done Sept. 11-14, the Bush lead had evaporated, the center said Thursday. In that poll, Bush and Kerry were knotted at 46 percent among registered voters.

Ummmmm....ok. Let me spin my head back around so my eyes face the front...

An aside rant here: "Bush continues to hold a commanding lead on the question of who would do the best job of defending the country from terrorists, by 58 percent to 31 percent in the Pew poll." HELLO! ARE YOU PEOPLE NOT PAYING ATTENTION, OR ARE YOU JUST THAT FUCKING STUPID????!!!!! HE WAS THE GUY IN CHARGE WHEN WE WERE ATTACKED BY TERRORISTS, AND HE'S THE GUY WHO STARTED TWO WARS THAT WILL, IN THE END, ONLY INCREASE THE LIKLIHOOD THAT WE WILL BE ATTACKED AGAIN!!!!! HOW IN THE NAME OF ______ (insert your favorite deity here, although if you're a Shrub supporter, you're probably a fundy who really REALLY enjoyed the Christian porn that was Passion of the Christ. But I digress...) CAN YOU STILL BE UNDER THE DELUDED IMPRESSION THAT BUSH HAS REDUCED THE THREAT OF TERROR TO THIS COUNTRY?????? And fer shits' sakes, it's really those heathen libruls in New York and the Gub'ment in D.C. that's really at risk here, so why do you care anyway? It's not like Osama's got grand designs for blowing up the corn fields in Nebraska!!!!! If by "the best job defending the U.S. from terrorists" you mean who would do the best job pissing the rest of the world off and starting perpetual war, President Asshat's your man, so go right ahead. I'll be in Toronto.

whew. Back to Wonderland...

The national guard story (which I must toot my own horn about and say that I've been harping on this since before the 2000 election, but what's a 10 watt mouthpiece in a 50,000 watt world?) won't go away, but the Bushies have done a great job of shifting attention to the documents' veracity, rather than the story behind them. Here's a quote that should be on every freaking headline tomorrow:
"I think the public ought to be concerned about his preferential treatment getting in and whether he satisfied his commitment to the Air Guard. Those are the two fundamental questions," said Robert Strong, the administrative officer in charge of air operations at Guard state headquarters from early 1971 until March 1972.

Will that headline be seen? Most likely not. After all, the major news organizations are lazy two-dollar whores, the kind that just lie there and count the seconds, and as such they take their news for the day from whatever Matty says is news for the day. And of course, Matty SOOOOOO wants to be in with the Rovian crowd despite his...ummm...what is it, exactly Matt? a lifestyle, as your desparately desired friends would condescendingly refer to it?...that he takes his daily news foci from Rove.

I need a drink. And I don't even drink.



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